her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
