Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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