Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
