U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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