just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
