I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
