we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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