I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
