i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
