Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
