His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
