i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
