glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
