CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
