You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
