as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize