Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize