Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
