Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
