Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
