toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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