I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize