the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
