69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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