You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
