we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize