The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
