If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize