Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
