apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize