Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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