Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
