Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
