I think my fart just growled at me.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
