My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
i think i just lost a toe
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
