his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
