I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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