we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
