NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
