my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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