I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
My orgasm happened in two different decades
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
