operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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