So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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