just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
