Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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