dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
