at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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