dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
It was confusing and full of hummus
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
