it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
