So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
