I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
