She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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