She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
thus making me awesome and them whores
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
