Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We are all done wearing pants today
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
