she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
