it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
