You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
