Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
