no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
