Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
