I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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