she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
