ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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