I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
