She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
