I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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