He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
