I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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