i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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