What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize