Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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