I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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