True but thats because hes a fetus.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
