So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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